The Phoenix Doth Rise!

Ok! So last time, a brief intro, I felt pretty shit about a few things (see here....), then the next day, things made a quick turn around, mum likes my Scentsy stuff and has put an order in, and have since felt very positive (see here.....)!

So since Thursday (my last post!), life has been pretty hectic! I rearranged my party for the Saturday, so spent the Friday baking a truck load of cake and cupcakes (Brooklyn Blackout cakes as recreated by Hummingbird High and some banana cupcakes with dark chocolate ganache). By some work of a miracle, I have hardly touched any of this stuff (emphasis on hardly....) but to blow my own trumpet, they were a bit tasty..... Hehe :-p I was pretty much, to put it nicely, patting my shanties about the party, after the dismal flops that had happened thrice previously..... I was up until 1am Saturday morning, baking.... My aunt had rung the night before to say she wasn't going to be able to make it again, as she'd had so much to deal with, which she had! But still, to say the least, I was quite stressed and feeling very doubtful!

Then we come to Saturday, some how, I was up at 8ish, trying to get all final prep done in terms of a bit of housework, etc (after copious amounts of coffee....). All morning I was feeling pretty crap really, I didn't know who was definitely coming, I still hadn't had a great deal of responses from anyone on Facebook, and my phone was still at my parent's house. Thankfully, mum rang that morning so agreed to bring my phone round before they went food shopping, yet still didn't get many definitive answers from anyone! But then my day started getting better and better, or comparatively so! My aunt rang and confirmed her attendance after all! She arrived early to help me finish set up and to also keep Sprog in check, I managed to whip round the shop to pick up extra things for icing the cakes, then guests began arriving! Three of my neighbours were first (of course!), then about 45 minutes later, one of my mum's friends arrived! I honestly wasn't expecting her! Then about half an hour later still, my best guy mate and his girlfriend turned up! So so happy!

[Shameless plug of my business here!]

I know I can always count on this mate, he's been there during some really hard times when others have been really shit! Especially on my birthdays! Remember when he took Sprog and me shopping for party food??

Saturday night was fabulous! I then also had another friend visit after Sprog had gone to bed, we spent the evening drinking our usual tipple- a brew! Watching Burke & Hare, smelling Scentsy, and then doing our nails! x'D love it!

 Yes..... That is pink and glittery.... I am not ashamed!!!!

Sunday was spent practically in recumbency..... What?? I deserved it!!!! Hehe 

All in all, since the party, I have ended up accumulating £250 worth of orders, and still counting!!! I'm so excited :') hehe

Today, Sprog went back to nursery after a long time spent away with conjunctivitis (eurgh!), loved spending all that time with her though! And then after mum and I picked her up from nursery in town, we went to view a new nursery which is just over the road from me! And instantly I decided I'm going to start sending her there! :)

My finale piece of excitement today was when I found a really old DVD of my school show in year 10! And it works in my laptop!!! So excited :') Is it a bit sad I'm watching it right now.....? x'D love it haha I played Audrey.... We did Little Shop of Horrors :') 

My next mission is to find out how to rip the disk so I can keep it safe on my hard drive, and share with anyone who cares to see it x'D 

Getting right in to this blogging malarkey now, all thanks to Vicky! =D thanks love =D also joined a blog hop thanks to her ^_^ 

Nighty night xXx

From The Ashes

By some work of a miracle, not only have I somehow managed to come bouncing back, but I've also thenceforth been spring-boarded forward! 

After my rather miserable entry last night, I found that my film project idea that I had quite a few months ago now could actually go ahead in to production! Also had a couple extra ideas for tweaks and such like, but still very much in need of work! All it needs is a little help from some friends....

Also had a couple of heart to hearts with a few good friends <3 <3 <3

During one said heart to heart, my dad rang to let me know that I didn't need to stay over tonight to watch Loki tomorrow! I love Loki to bits, but I can't even begin to explain the immense amount of relief I felt! Weight lifted! Still went round for dinner though, and had a most splendid evening! The male sibling even showed up (and went and sat in the dog house..... teehee x'D). When mummy dropped us home, she came up for a quick coffee, and showed her what Scentsy is about, and she was totally won over when she saw that "it's not just candles"! She sniffed her way through my tester pots and found one she really liked, saw a couple of warmers she likes and smelt my laundry that I'd used my Washer Whiffs in, and ordered one of each! :') And after she quizzed me on how the business and financial side of it works as well, she was quite happy for me that I've signed up for it :'D I'm so excited! Hehehe

Also today, I've had a pretty nice day with Sprog, got a bit of housework done whilst also spending lots of time having cuddles and snuggles on the sofa, on the whole quite a nondescript, unremarkable day, but highly pleasant all the same! 

 Sprog's antics today.....

Will be going to bed in a much better mood tonight than I have for nearly the last week! :) 

Nighty night xXx

Back To The Future.....

Ok, so I joined Scentsy last Monday- firstly, I absolutely LOVE the products! The fragrances smell absolutely devine! And the warmer units or gorgeous and ornamental! ^_^ I love the way they work as well, I'm a total home fragrance convert, I'm never buying a scented candle EVER again! And I have had some real interest in the products, from people who I hope will become my lovely clients!

Of course, launching any business venture is very tough! And so I seem to have forgotten about the fact that I seem to be capable of suffering from social anxiety..... Organise a launch party! BAM!!! BAM BAM BAM!!!! I'm really struggling again! Organising people can be challenging at the best of times, and I just don't seem to have a knack for it, I honestly don't know what it is! Bad judgement of when people will be free? The way I've written the event on Facebook and stuff? Not advertised it as exciting enough? Or maybe *social anxiety hits....* maybe people hate you, you're annoying, you moan too much, you're boring, I could go on and on..... 

I wish I had the guts to say to people I don't give a shit, to feel like I don't care as much as I do... But I can't. I can't bare to think I've upset someone and made them feel as low and unwanted as much as I've felt! I can't do it, even if I dislike someone, I still can't tell them to do one! Maybe that does make me false, makes me exactly like the people that I've had to force myself to move on from, yet continuing to be a hypocrite myself? 

Another thing that has brought me to write this post tonight is some thing that have been said to me about my parenting skills recently, telling me I need to be more strict, stop being so polite and patient, to basically "shut her down". But again, I can't do it. I shudder to think that she'll grow up to be exactly like me, unable to voice herself when she needs to stand up for herself, or when she needs to make a point in disagreement, but to instead stand there quietly and feel "shut down", feeling like she's not allowed to argue back, maybe even go and sit somewhere by herself, in her room, crying alone. Feeling like she's not allowed to be herself because she feels too self conscious that she's being "too weird", or feel like other peoples' opinions have to rule the way she behaves. Of course there are ways to behave in particular places etc, but it's when she's around peers in what should be a relaxed environment; I hope that she can feel confident enough to be herself, that she doesn't have to pretend to be someone or something else, just to please everyone else.

*sigh* so I also put on half a pound this week in SW, which didn't come as much surprise, seeing as I probably haven't eaten enough good stuff this week, and then on Monday I ate all but 1 cookie from a pack of bake-at-home Betty Crocker chocolate chip cookies.... And yet here I am right now, sat writing a whingey blog post whilst begging a friend to come round and bring some ice cream to eat with a bag of Cadbury's Marvellous Creations mixture with Oreos....

Well, I'm gonna go now, I've gone on enough, hopefully next time I'll have nicer things to report (such as my final attempt of a launch party on Saturday afternoon actually going well.....) lol I know, I can dream! x'D 

[Edit in] Many thanks to Vicky at Single Mother Ahoy for sharing my posts! Check her blog, she's a pro!

Laterz, haterz lol

xXx

Swings And Roundabouts

OMG I know! It's a revelation! Another post already :-O hehehe

It's been a rather busy since Thursday when I last posted!

Sprog and I went to stay at the Rent's house Thursday after a painfully lazy day indoors as we were needed to look after Loki the puppy from early on Friday morning while Dad was round Nan's doing some decorating all day :) Loki is absolutely gorgeous,and so funny, and such a typical puppy :') very naughty! Hahahaha bless him :') we got to have a naughty McDonalds for dinner on Friday night too, as the Rents came back late :p teehee 

Friday night I did my food shop online, and bought the whole of Asda! And had it delivered too! Not sure how I fit it all in my kitchen though.....

So we came home after a maybe slightly uncomfortable albeit enjoyable 2 nights away (sooooo glad to be back in my own bed last night!) to remember that I'd left my rucksack at the Rent's house x_X mnngghhhh thankfully I don't desperately need anything in there, well.... except maybe my bank cards.... lol although the Rents did buy us a couple of lovely bright pink plastic drawer units to sort out Sprog's ridiculously overflowing toybox! I filled an entire black bag of her old toys today, and shall be flogging them on eBay soon..... :) hehehe look for my eBay and Facebook selling pages entitled Selling Sprogs Stuff ^_^

So that brings us to today! My lovely Aunty J and Uncle A gave me their big tv today so I don't have to use the dismally small thing my parents lent me (don't get me wrong, I am still immensely grateful! I'm just gutted I couldn't afford to buy myself one!) Just got to wait for it to be set up on either the wall or a stand now..... :) hehe eeee can't wait ^_^ I also spent the whole day sorting bits out, mainly Sprog's toys!!! Although her toybox is still full, but of just teddies!!!! Bwaaaa Dx and now with the "new" TV, I want to have another big move around of the lounge! That's twice in 6 months now! Crazy stuff!

Well, as the time is now getting on and I think I've rambled myself out, I'm off for a nice shath (bath shower type thing...... basically a shower sat in the tub as I have to make do with the shower attachment which doesn't go upwards....) #firstworldproblems..... hehehe

Don't forget to like, share, retweet and/or +1 and don't be scared to get involved, make comments etc :)

Revelations and Celebrations..... Kind Of..... :)

Wow, another post so soon?! Check me out! Lol

Well since my last post, which was on..... Sunday.....? Maybe? A few kind of exciting things have happened! Firstly, after working out how to work out the financial side of it, I've decided I'm going to finally become a Scentsy consultant :D I can't wait to buy my Consultant's Kit :') then on Monday whilst Sprog was at nursery, I went to visit my nan and we sat and did a little bit of training, we gave each other a bit of a reading, and she told me she was being told to tell me to "grow a pair" lol so I did! For once! The next day on Tuesday, I finally sprouted a rather bulbous pair and spoke to Sprog's dad over a handover coffee about how I want to move away to Great Yarmouth/Caister, and not only did he agree and approve of it, he's fully and completely supportive of this move! So much so, he said he wants to move away with his new-ish gf and their new baby as he doesn't want to bring a child up in this area! :D

Also on Monday, I saw that there is a new tea room about to open up in town, which had an ad in the window for full and part time vacancies, so, naturally, I applied, and then had an interview on Tuesday! Unfortunately I did't get the job, but after working out all the finances and implications of working whilst Sprog is at nursery and with her dad, on top of being a Scentsy consultant, well basically I'd be stupid not to! I'd be so much better off financially, and I'll also have something extra to do! So I then went and applied for a couple of other jobs too! Wish me luck! ^_^ hehe

Lastly, yesterday after Slimming World (I gained half a pound, boooo!!!), Sprog and I went off to visit our dear friends Lullsbud (follow her, she's lovely!) and her gorgeous little one at their new home in Stevenage ^_^ thanks for a lovely day guys ^_^ <3 xxxx We also both decided that we're going to have a bash at vlogging too! On top of our blogs hehe 

Like, share, +1, comment, let me know if you'd like me to write about a subject in particular :) xxxx

A New Lease of Life!

I know..... It's been a year, it's lousy! And it wasn't a great year, let's be honest! So after my melt down last March, I sought proper help, went to CBT, also enjoyed a smashing holiday to Caister-on-Sea with Lullsbud and her sprog-

I also discovered and rediscovered a lot of things about myself over the year too; firstly I need to remember I'm an adult and I AM allowed to stand on my own two feet, make my own decisions and don't need to ask permission from parentals.... hehe. I also learnt that not everyone you hang out with (or try to...) is really your friend..... even if they do have a lot in common.....

I turned 25, and attempted to throw a party...... only my good friends turned up! If you're reading this, you lovely people know who you are! I was also signed off/discharged from CBT that week too, which was nice! :)

This pic is of our roadtrip when a good friend took Sprog and me out for the day to buy my party food and went for lunch :) and he bought me my birthday cake :'D xxx


Sprog turned 2! OMG!!!! I also threw a party for her too, again only good friends turned up!!! This iced the cake for me with regards to point number 2 above.....

I can't forget to mention the beautiful wedding I had the privilege and pleasure to attend in June, of the Bains! :') ovbs they had a Disney theme seeing as Mrs Bain is slightly obsessed hehehe :') it was a wonderful day and got to meet some wonderful people!

 For the first time in months I felt slimmer and pretty, and had a lovely day with my own princess :) thanks again for inviting us, Mr and Mrs Bain ^_^

In light of the lesson of learning who my real friends were, and finding I still wasn't socialising all that much, I decided to create my own group just for single parents in West London, in late September, and I'm so glad I did as I've made so many lovely new friends who all understand each other better! It's amazing how much difference marital status makes your friendships! Shocking and almost appalling I would say...... Though of course that is purely just my personal opinion! Hehe

Anywho!!! Less negativity! I've met some lovely fellow mummies through my group, and ended up going here with one of them with her 2 girls! Twas a splendid day!

The same week as going here, my mum sent me a shocker of a text! Look who joined our crazy family!

Isn't he gorgeous??!? This is Loki, he's a Jack Russel, and he's now about 17 weeks old I'll hazard a guess at, in this pic he was only 7 weeks old and absolutely tiny! :')


 Another thing I discovered about myself is that I have inherited clairvoyant abilities from my nanny and have since been learning to develop them through her love and guidance :) she's training me up basically hehe the weird and scary thing is how strong and quick my abilities started to come through as soon as I started! Looking forward to being able to help people properly :)

Despite my emotional hardships of the year, I have somehow managed to achieve two great things, firstly I stopped biting my nails for Lent and managed to carry it on, I now have gorgeous sexy talons! ;-) hehehe secondly, on October 7th, I bit the bullet and joined Slimming World after my mum suggested it, which she said just ignore what dad says about it.... well I can proudly say that since that day, I have lost 1st 2.5lbs and already I am feeling absolutely fabulous! :D

 This first pic was at another wedding in 2013, but my weight wasn't much different to when I joined SW!
 

This was me 2 weeks ago, 1st 2.5lbs later! Last week I maintained my weight as Sprog and I defeated a cold each, and Sprog had a minor case of conjunctivitis, this healthy eating plan is obviously helping us both from the inside out! :) all those yummy fruits and veggies ^_^

Another minor victory for me is eventually forming a better cooperative relationship with Sprog's father, after we both separately had to attend a SPIP (Separated Parents' Information Programme)..... Well despite my cynicism, it did actually prove to be helpful after we'd both attended our sessions! So far, things are a lot calmer! And I'm happy :)

Well that was my year in a rather big nut shell.... maybe like a coconut..... and I don't like coconuts, and I didn't like 2014 all that much! I will look back on it with relief that I survived and came out a lot stronger and wiser than when I went in! To celebrate the end of the year and welcome in 2015, I got to go to a Fabulous (with a capital FABULOUS) New Year party at the Holiday Inn hotel, it had a Las Vegas theme, with show girls, roulette wheel and everything, dress to impress..... So I did.....

 Happy New Year

Here's to an awesome 2015!

You Can Do It If You Really Try!

Over a month!!!!!!!!!! Bad Sophie!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe

In my defence, I have had 6 of the CRAZIEST weeks EVER! Well you all know Sprog and I were ill a fair amount, of which after my last post (on 11/02!!!) I got a tummy bug, but thankfully Sprog got off rather unscathed! 

On 23rd Feb, my best mummy friend and I went to the Work and Family Show at the London Excel and had a most excellent day! And we might have managed to somehow sneak in to the Baby Show completely unnoticed as well....! Teehee shhhh ;-) however, after a 10 minute consultation with a lovely health coach (she's very good! Her name is Lyndy Stanway Marsh, Google her!), my mood quickly deteriorated over the proceeding days, and I had to admit to myself that I didn't feel good (very tearful, etc). I guess everything that I've been through in the last 2.5 years just came rushing back to me, and rugby scrum tackled me to the floor! 

So! After some very tearful, stressy bad days, catalysed by Sprog deciding she doesn't like some foods anymore, and so being hungry in the night and needing bottles, so therefore feeling insanely tired; along with a bad sleep routine and lack of physical activity and healthy eating, I eventually got the kick up the arse I needed from my Mummy and my Nanny. Somehow, I am now starting to feel much better again, and slowly starting to incorporate more things back in to my life that are for me, not us, although they all benefit Sprog as well! :) I've started hitting the gym more regularly (TWICE a week!!!!) thanks to a very lovely friend affectionately known as Russia! I'm now also looking for part time work, and will be seeing a careers advisor on Thursday so I can start to better plan my future again! :)

Today, after an immense gym sesh, and catching up with a rather fetching personal trainer, I had a lovely health visitor come round to see that I'm getting on ok after my meltdown, and she directed me to a most helpful website to help with the future...... http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/warning_signs.html I think I might even print off a copy, or make my own brief "cheat sheet" to keep close at hand for when I need it....... And I know I will need to refer back to it eventually..... And after reading it, I notice so many things are so close to home with how things went for me! Please pass on this link to girl AND guy mates who are in need! Too many people fall victim to domestic abuse!

And on that bombshell (I've been watching too much Top Gear....) Imma sign off and hit the hay! Yes, it's a more reasonable time compared to my 1am bed times from like a month ago!

Looking on to bigger and better things! Keep smiling and keep your chin up! ....and the other one..... Looking at you Russia xD haaaaa <3

xXx