Ok, so I joined Scentsy last Monday- firstly, I absolutely LOVE the products! The fragrances smell absolutely devine! And the warmer units or gorgeous and ornamental! ^_^ I love the way they work as well, I'm a total home fragrance convert, I'm never buying a scented candle EVER again! And I have had some real interest in the products, from people who I hope will become my lovely clients!
Of course, launching any business venture is very tough! And so I seem to have forgotten about the fact that I seem to be capable of suffering from social anxiety..... Organise a launch party! BAM!!! BAM BAM BAM!!!! I'm really struggling again! Organising people can be challenging at the best of times, and I just don't seem to have a knack for it, I honestly don't know what it is! Bad judgement of when people will be free? The way I've written the event on Facebook and stuff? Not advertised it as exciting enough? Or maybe *social anxiety hits....* maybe people hate you, you're annoying, you moan too much, you're boring, I could go on and on.....
I wish I had the guts to say to people I don't give a shit, to feel like I don't care as much as I do... But I can't. I can't bare to think I've upset someone and made them feel as low and unwanted as much as I've felt! I can't do it, even if I dislike someone, I still can't tell them to do one! Maybe that does make me false, makes me exactly like the people that I've had to force myself to move on from, yet continuing to be a hypocrite myself?
Another thing that has brought me to write this post tonight is some thing that have been said to me about my parenting skills recently, telling me I need to be more strict, stop being so polite and patient, to basically "shut her down". But again, I can't do it. I shudder to think that she'll grow up to be exactly like me, unable to voice herself when she needs to stand up for herself, or when she needs to make a point in disagreement, but to instead stand there quietly and feel "shut down", feeling like she's not allowed to argue back, maybe even go and sit somewhere by herself, in her room, crying alone. Feeling like she's not allowed to be herself because she feels too self conscious that she's being "too weird", or feel like other peoples' opinions have to rule the way she behaves. Of course there are ways to behave in particular places etc, but it's when she's around peers in what should be a relaxed environment; I hope that she can feel confident enough to be herself, that she doesn't have to pretend to be someone or something else, just to please everyone else.
*sigh* so I also put on half a pound this week in SW, which didn't come as much surprise, seeing as I probably haven't eaten enough good stuff this week, and then on Monday I ate all but 1 cookie from a pack of bake-at-home Betty Crocker chocolate chip cookies.... And yet here I am right now, sat writing a whingey blog post whilst begging a friend to come round and bring some ice cream to eat with a bag of Cadbury's Marvellous Creations mixture with Oreos....
Well, I'm gonna go now, I've gone on enough, hopefully next time I'll have nicer things to report (such as my final attempt of a launch party on Saturday afternoon actually going well.....) lol I know, I can dream! x'D
[Edit in] Many thanks to Vicky at Single Mother Ahoy for sharing my posts! Check her blog, she's a pro!
Laterz, haterz lol
xXx
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